Brief for part III (& a bit of debrief from part II)

And so here we go for part III. 

It's so bloody hard to try and put into words what the last 40 days have been like. 

If you recall, the first time I went to Greece to volunteer in Lesbos it was September. When I returned in December I was thoroughly burn out. I didn't leave my pijamas for 2 weeks, barely left bed, didn't see any friends or family. I eventually had to, when Christmas came, but the inner struggle was ripping me apart. As I said, it's hard to explain, but I think anyone that has gone through burn out understands the lethargy, the feeling of not being able to get up and get on with life. 

When I was preparing to return home for the 2nd time after being in Greece for two months, I told myself I wouldn't let this happen again. I was burn out, yes, but I would fix it. I signed up for work shifts even before I left Lesbos. I made a point of asking to do breakfast shifts at the restaurant where I work, so I could get up early and (maybe) have a productive day. I was determined to not go back to the mental state I was in December. I signed up for counselling a few days after returning. This has proven one of the best decisions I've ever made. I was assigned to someone that has questioned me on why I don't dedicate time to my wellbeing and taught me how to do it. I've spent the last 40 days preparing for the next time I return to Greece, which is tomorrow. 

I've read books, I've done online courses, me and Jack have spent many dozens of hours talking about how will we take better care of ourselves this time. You will probably be surprised to learn that our "preparation" goes from "how can we eat more healthy?" to "did I pack enough clothes to go out for a drink?". I would have probably twisted my nose if I heard this is how people prepare to go and work at a refugee camp. But... the thing is... If I don't take care of myself, how will I take care of others? In the last few months I've heard things I never thought I would hear. Specially those coming from children. Bombs, kidnapping, raping, ... these words weren't part of my day to day vocabulary until very recently. I'm still processing this mess. 

I've found some amazing resources lately, but I believe the most helpful of them all has been Jessica Alexander's book Chasing Chaos. 

Jessica starts by talking about her time in Rwanda but I swear that if you changed the name to Lesbos I would say she was telling my story. The struggles about fitting in or making friends with colleagues, the cynicism after a few weeks of working in the field, she even says she didn't leave her house for days on when the returned! It made me feel so much better about what I was going through, knowing that this is the same process to everyone. To know it's not just me questioning my motives for doing what I do, for getting upset with all the "you're so wonderful" messages because really, I feel like I do an unimportant job. 

I rarely tell people what to do, but if you are considering a career in humanitarian work or thinking about volunteering (in Lesbos or somewhere else), please read this book. Humanitarian work is messy, it fails, it's hard to tell when it succeeds. But you need to know that before you start. I can't believe I knew so little when I first went to Lesbos. 

I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the book (although I have underlined half of it)

As you can see, I am ignoring thinking about what really is happening at Moria Refuge Camp. there's nothing I can do to help as I am home, so I am leaving the time to worry for when I'm there. 

Here I go. Speak soon, 

Sara

Testimony @ Taizé's website.

A few years back I volunteered in Taizé for a few months. It was a time I treasure deeply and think about often. I feel extremely grateful for the chance I had to live with 80 girls from all over the world. I made beautiful friendships and I was lucky enough to meet some of those friends around the world (NZ, Australia, Laos). 

One of the sweetest friends I made in Taizé was Eve. I find it hard to talk about Eve because she is someone I only got to be friends with for a few months before she suddenly passed away. I think I am scared people will judge the dept of our relationship and judge my mourning. I miss Eve so much. I think my time in Taizé will be marked by her friendship and how the last time I saw her was there. How we hugged and promised to see each other soon. 

I don't know why I'm talking about her, but I think it's unthinkable for me to talk about Taizé and not about Eve. I think if she was alive she would be in Greece working alongside me and the refugees. She learned portuguese (and she spoke it fluently !!!) just so she could go and volunteer at a school in Brazil. She used to skype me and tell me about all the big ideas she had for the place, at the same time she would talk about the next school she would go and work in, somewhere in Cambodia. 

Anyway, when I was in Lesbos back in March, one of the brothers of the community asked me to write something about my time with the refugees. It has just been published on their website and you can have a look here.

A little excerpt:

“I volunteer at a refugee camp in Lesbos, Greece. My main job is to distribute clothes, shoes and hygiene kits to the people that have made the dangerous crossing between Turkey and Greece on a small plastic boat, often with poorly made life jackets.

I get to hear a lot of stories from the people that make it to Lesbos, and it’s those stories that stay with me long after the people have left the island and continued their trip to mainland Europe, looking for a place where they are welcomed."

Ser voluntária | Being a volunteer

PT | Partilhei um testemunho no site "Para Onde?", um óptimo recurso para quem está a pensar fazer voluntariado e não sabe onde começar.

Podem ler aqui -> Ser voluntária em Lesvos.

EN | I shared some words regarding my time in Greece, on a portuguese website that helps people interested in volunteering find the right resources. It's in portuguese, but here's a link to a Google automated translation to English.

3rd time lucky | À terceira é de vez

EN | We came home 5 days ago. We already bought tickets to return to Lesvos for our 3rd time. No fancy explanations. It's where we are meant to be right now and we are lucky enough to be able to do what we feel like doing. We will be working for Doctors of the World Greece for the next few months, starting in May.

Returning to Lesvos will give us an opportunity to engage in longer projects and make a real impact at the busiest time of the year. Last summer, on some days, over 2 000 people arrived to the beaches of Lesvos. We are not essential, but we can help them a bit.

We are very thankful for the support of the portuguese NGO "Ovar, Vamos Ajudar?"  which supports us and allows us to dream and make those dreams come to life. We are two people in Lesvos, but we have an army of people working with us.

I know we do precious work there and that's why it's important for us to return. 

PT | Voltámos a casa há 5 dias. Já comprámos bilhetes para voltar a Lesvos pela terceira vez. Não tenho uma explicação elaborada. Sinto que é onde tenho que estar neste momento e por sorte, posso escolher ir onde me leva o coração. Vamos continuar a trabalhar com os Médicos do Mundo Grécia pelos próximos meses, a começar em Maio.

Voltar a Lesvos vai-nos dar a oportunidade de trabalhar em projectos mais elaborados e longos, além de que poderemos ajudar na altura mais difícil do ano. No Verão passado, em alguns dias, mais de 2000 pessoas chegaram ás praias da ilha. Não somos uma ajuda essencial, mas podemos ajudar estas pessoas um bocadinho.

Estamos agradecidos pela ajuda da organisação "Ovar, Vamos Ajudar?", que nos dá apoio e nos permite sonhar e tornar esses sonhos realidade. Somos dois em Lesvos, mas temos um exército de pessoas a trabalharem connosco. 

Sei que fazemos um trabalho importante e é por esse motivo que temos de voltar.

Week 4

We spent most of our time this week sorting out through donations.

It's not what you call a "fun job", but someone's got to do it. And it might as well be done during a time that there's not many people arriving to the island. The weather has been crap!

We are very well stocked for the next few months! But you do need to breath in and out when you see some of the useless stuff people send us! 

Example: within TWO boxes, this is how many pairs of high heels we collected (and threw in the bin after the photo). As much as you think it's a good gesture to send your very nice pair of fancy heels, NO, THEY ARE NOT HELPFUL.

Before packing something to send our way, think "would I feel embarrassed about handing this to a person that is wet and cold?", if the answer is yes, don't send it. 

We had some time on our day off to take the cameras for a walk. 

I can't believe it's been 4 weeks since we arrived. Time has gone very fast. We feel like we barely made a difference. I keep reminding myself that opening boxes is just as important as other jobs. Oh well, on we go to week 5.

Jack and Sara in Moria

We recorded a video to show you what it's like to volunteer in Moria.

I am thankful for the many donations we have received over the last week towards the campaign we started to get underwear and socks. This is our way to say THANK YOU!

I spent 3 hours subtitling the video in English so please turn on subtitles :)

Week 2 and 3

It's been hard to find time to come and post some news. I beat myself up for not doing it often, but truth is I can't stretch my days. I simply don't have time to do it. Shifts have been hard. They were specially hard on the second week. Snowed most days and I barely had the energy to keep myself moving. 

Some days I wake up and I even find myself being happy and peaceful. Others, like today, it's very hard. As I'm sitting on my computer, at a café in the port, I read news about another boat sinking and 40 people being dead. I look to the sea and think "this is happening right here". It's a hard thing to grasp. 

Some events knocked me out in the last few days.

On one of the days that it was snowing, a woman approached me with a baby on each arm and asked me for help, in perfect english, regarding what her next step is, after getting the registration papers. I told her she needs to get the bus to the port and buy a ferry ticket to Athens, but I know there's a ferry strike, and as so, she might only be able to buy a ticket to travel 2 days after. I write on a piece of paper the name "Kara Tepe". It's the camp where Syrians and Iraqis can go and stay, get some food and rest. I tell her to go there after buying her ticket. I carry one of her babies to the bus stop and we wait together for the bus to arrive. She tells me her husband did the trip a few months before and he has reached Germany and now it's their turn to join him. the bus arrives, I leave the three of them and go back to work. And then it hits me! Here was a clear situation in which I could have done so much more to help. And I didn't! It was a perfect opportunity and I missed it. I could have travelled with her to the port to buy her ticket and then help her with the kids and her bags. Pay for a hotel, give her a place to rest... I missed a golden opportunity. I could have really helped her! I went to the port a few hours later and tried to find her. I didn't see her. I like to think some other person noticed this struggling woman and helped her. But what if no one did? It's been over a week and I still wonder how she is. How she will manage to do the whole journey to Germany...

Here's some photos of your week:

We spent a lot of time this week organising donations. With the cold weather, less boats arrive, making it the perfect time to go to the warehouse and prepare for busy days.